How to get your tests results back in the middle of the night

An hour or so of contractions strong enough to double you over, that's how.

I tried the usual advice--drank water, lay down on my side, took a warm bath. Nothing helped. So I called the OB office and had them page my midwife at around midnight. "How many an hour?" "Three or four, but they're strong." "Well, your fetal fibronectin is negative, so don't worry about it. If your water breaks or you see blood, that's different, but you're not in labor."

Well, that's good, I thought. And then we talked a little bit about my history and why she wasn't worried, and she mentioned offhandedly,

"You can have contractions like that for weeks."

Excuse me???

"Yeah, it's miserable when it happens. If it gets unbearable try a little Tylenol."

Tylenol. Right...

Well, anyway, the good news is that I'm unlikely to have a baby before 36 weeks, so I'm basically in the clear--36 weeks is still early, but nobody is going to tell me to stay on bedrest to try to put the baby off past that. (Watch, I'll go to 42 weeks and they'll have to induce me...) And I felt much better this morning, too.

I couldn't nail her down on exactly what I can and can't do right now, but I definitely don't have to be in bed all the time, and I can pick up Barak, and I can go to the grocery store and cook dinner, although not, it has been suggested, on the same day. I'm not supposed to go back to work, though, and was warned against getting bright ideas about making Pesach by myself in a week. Of course, Pesach is coming whether I'm ready or not, but there is a middle ground between "eating matzo and cheese on seder nights and doing a mechira on half the house" and "making Pesach just the way bubbe does." I think the middle ground will at least involve chicken soup and matzo balls.

Which I will not have to eat reclining, unless I want to.