Door number three, please.: Hee

A bissel pre-Pesach humor here.

100 things about me

I'm going to change this from time to time as I think of different things, so if you're bored, check back occasionally.

1. I'm a kollel wife. Every time I say that, I have to fight the urge to giggle.
2. I have a ridiculously huge tichel collection. But the whole thing combined cost less than one sheitel.
3. My favorite thing in the world to eat is a good tomato sandwich with mayonnaise on good bread.
4. Next favorite thing is shmitta peaches. But I won't have another for at least six years.
5. I can't swim.
6. My first cat was named Grendel. My second cat, who will probably be my last cat, is now 12 years old.
7. I'm on ravelry.
8. I got married at 29. I honestly thought I would never get married, and it was a total shock.
9. The extent to which my life has improved since meeting my husband cannot be captured in words.
10. Even my worst day now is a billion times better than my best day ten years ago.
11. I was a vegetarian for ten years.
12. Now I like hamburgers. A lot.
13. My worst addiction is Diet Coke. In cans. Very, very cold cans.
14. I've never smoked a cigarette or touched an illegal drug. The most alcohol I've ever had is two glasses of wine.
15. I hate beer and can't drink it at all.
16. I love to knit.
17. One might even rank it as something of an obsession.
18. I also like to spin, and own two spinning wheels.
19. In 2002, I took first place in the speed spindle spinning contest at the New York Sheep and Wool Show.
20. There were about nine contestants. But I won by a lot.
21. I don't own a single pair of high heels.
22. My boys have three grandmothers. Only one is genetically related to them.
23. All of them rock.
24. I make really excellent macaroni and cheese.
25. If I knit up my entire sock yarn collection there would be an awful lot of socks.
26. If I knit up my entire sock yarn collection, I'd have no sock yarn. And that would be awful.
27. I acquired the world's best sisters-in-law when I got married. My sisters-in-law are my best friends. Truly.
28. I published my first national magazine article at 20.
29. My favorite kind of ice cream is chocolate chip.
30. My favorite cookie is also chocolate chip. But only the ones I make. I'm kind of a cookie snob.
31. My four-year-old (as of summer 2008) is not as discriminating. He'll eat any cookie, anywhere, at any time.
32. He's the same way about French fries. Not curly fries, though.
33. I was born with a brain tumor.
34. I have a wicked scar under my hair.
35. I played the oboe for three months in fourth grade. I hated it.
36. I've been a student at seven universities.
37. I can't read music.
38. I have three degrees and two language certificates.
39. I should be fluent in five languages. In practice, three of them are pretty rusty.
40. I can speak another two languages if I really have to, but not well.
41. I used to do sign language interpretation, but I was never a registered interpreter.
42. My first labor lasted five days, ended in a nasty infection for me and a NICU stay for the baby, and was a nightmare.
43. My second labor was a lot shorter. I woke up at 2:30 am and had the baby at 4:04.
44. My third labor was somewhere between the two.
45. My middle and youngest son both had delayed brisn.
46. My older son's name is totally normal for Jews but non-Jews can't pronounce it; the second one is easy for non-Jews but Jews find weird; the third one is chronically misheard as something else.
47. Our middle son's first name was chosen by a friend who died of cancer the week after he was born.
48. I found out the baby's gender so I could tell her. I didn't tell anyone else I knew--not even my husband.
49. Once I knew it was a boy, I told my husband he could choose the name if it was a girl.
50. He wasn't mad at me when I told him later.
51. We bought our condo three years ago. It was the nineteenth mailing address I'd had in 12 years.
52. I was so sick of rental apartments I painted all the walls crazy colors.
53. Our living room is magenta, our halls are bright red, our kitchen is "American Cheese," our kids' room is bright yellow, our bedroom is lavendar and our guest room is "Neon Celery."
54. The guest room has the quietest color in the house. It also has sequined batik curtains, perhaps by way of compensation.
55. I love our apartment. Even though buying it was probably the worst financial decision imaginable.
56. I am a speechwriter.
57. I work for some really nice people, and some really nutty ones.
58. I like my job a lot.
59. My first job after getting married was at a very old university in the Cambridge area that begins with an H.
60. I really, really, really hated that job.
61. I got pregnant while I was working there, and I think I was looking forward to getting out of there at least as much as I was looking forward to having the baby.
62. Some of my best friends are several decades older than I am. It doesn't seem to matter.
63. We don't have a TV and never want to own one.
64. I have YouTube clips of construction equipment bookmarked on my computer.
65. I knit in the round, mostly because I hate to purl.
66. I'm not a big fan of finishing either.
67. I used to own a 45" four-harness floor loom. After seven years and six apartments, I finally sold it, because I needed the space.
68. I bake my own challah. Sometimes my oldest son and I make rolls in the shape of aleph-beis.
69. I don't drive. I have a license, but hate driving and am terrible at it, so I don't do it.
70. We don't own a car. Most people will tell you that you can't live where we live without a car.
71. People told us that the last place we lived too. They were wrong.
72. I'm not sure how much longer we will manage without a car, but it will probably be longer than you think.
73. We have nine smoke detectors.
74. We live on the first floor.
75. Wake up to the smell of smoke and a hot floor just once, and it will forever change how you feel about smoke detectors.
76. I am very, very, very makpid about car seats. And sunscreen. When the time comes, I will be the same way about bike helmets.
77. I can draw lions but almost nothing else.
78. My husband can juggle flaming devil sticks. He did it for shtick at our wedding.
79. All the non-Jewish guests at the wedding look pretty horrified in the pictures.
80. My oldest son had a very hard time learning to nurse, and that was rough on both of us for a long time. In the end, he nursed till he was one and a half. I am very proud of that.
81. My middle son latched with no trouble at the age of ten minutes.
82. A tidy house makes me feel in control of my life.
83. My house is very rarely as tidy as I'd like it to be.
84. I live with three forces of unrelenting chaos.
85. Except for my husband and our kids, all of my closest friends and all of our family live out of state or out of the country.
86. Since I was on my own for a long time, I probably find that easier than some people would, but it doesn't mean I like it.
87. I once accidentally took a train through a war zone.
88. I love the post office.
89. I've lived in five countries.
90. I hope to live in a sixth.
91. If we ever move again, I want it to be to Israel.
92. I am a really, really efficient packer.
93. I think global warming is going to destroy the planet, and I don't think it is that far off in the future.
94. That's part of why we don't have a car.
95. Our house is full of books and yarn.
96. I have a luggage habit. Especially backpacks. I have an entire shelf of backpacks in my closet, and am frequently tempted to buy more.
97. When we bought our apartment, we had no debt.
98. I prefer emailing to talking on the phone.
99. I used to own a sheitel, but gave it away because I never wore it.
100. The only time I ever wore makeup was at my own wedding.

Door number three, please.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Hee

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