Saturday, October 26, 2013

Of pterodactyls and robots

Just when I had almost completely forgotten that I once had a regularly updated blog, one particular post became the target of about four hundred spam comments. I get all my comments by email, and for the last couple of weeks, the bulk of my mail has been from "Anonymous" on "Pterodactyl." I haven't looked at any of them, so they haven't been that successful as spam, but they have reminded me that I haven't posted since... May, was it? So perhaps it's time.

This morning (it was Shabbos), the three older boys were upstairs playing while I was down with Marika and Mordechai having breakfast (muffins, if you were wondering). Suddenly I heard loud wails of outrage from Avtalyon, who, a few minutes later, came downstairs in tears because Barak and Iyyar had taken away his missiles. (Back story: I went to the US last week for five days for work, and brought them back Lego... something... robots, which came equipped an impressively deadly array of Lego robot weapons, which, sadly for me, are interchangeable; this means that there has been a lot of sneaky reassigning of weaponry to different robots and attendant protest from the owner of the robot thus disarmed.)

I listened to Avtalyon sob about his missiles for a minute or two, then got up and found two pieces of chocolate sitting on top of the freezer. I handed him one and one to Marika; he was not soothed. Then I said, "Avtalyon, I have a devious, sneaky idea for getting your missiles back." It was like turning off a switch: sobs instantly ceased. "You and Marika should eat the chocolate. Be very messy. Get chocolate all over your faces. Then go upstairs and look really happy. Say, 'Imma gave us chocolate!' Then Barak and Iyyar will want chocolate. They'll come downstairs and say, 'Can we have chocolate too?' And then you can take back your missiles."

Avtalyon thought this was an AWESOME idea. He not only ate his chocolate, he actually attempted to draw on his face with it as though it were a crayon. Then he and Marika went upstairs and I heard a gleeful "Imma gave us chocolate!" and then, exactly as predicted, "She DID?" Fifteen seconds later, Barak and Iyyar came downstairs. "Can we have chocolate too?"

Hitch in plan: Avtalyon is again crying. "I don't see my missiles!" "First give Avtalyon back his missiles. Then we can talk." Grumble grumble. All three of them go back upstairs. Me, hollering up stairs: "Avtalyon! Did you get your missiles back?" Avtalyon: "Yeah!" Me: "Did the devious plan work?" Avtalyon "Yeah! It worked great!"

Barak, looking puzzled: "What devious plan?"