Wednesday, March 14, 2007


So, Barak is scheduled to have his adenoids out and ear tubes in a week from today. Over the weekend it was just so obvious how much he isn't hearing--he's frustrated, we're frustrated, and it's not good. So. Tubes. I am assured by the doctor and most people who have either had them or had their kids have them that his hearing will be miraculously improved; I am also told that he may very well have a big jump in his language.

In case that is what happens and he starts talking more like an almost-three-year-old, allow me to regale you with a few current Barakisms:

Last week, MHH was suffering from too much work, too little sleep, and general under-the-weatherness. We decided to be nice and bring him lunch. I had made him lunch, put it in the stroller basket, and gone with Iyyar to pick up Barak at school; then we went from there to Abba's school. I called to tell him we were coming and he came outside to meet us. "Barak, let's go to Abba's work. Let's go bring Abba his lunch." "Abba gonna eat it lunch?" "Yeah, he's going to eat his lunch." "Iss very yummy?" "I hope he likes it!" "'Kay."

Fast forward to today. It was a little after six, so we were expecting Abba home shortly. Barak wanted to do something that required my undivided attention, and Iyyar was requiring the same; I said, let's wait for Abba to come home, okay? Barak considered this. "Where Abba go? Abba inna bafroom?" No, Abba's at work. "Abba's 's work? Wass he doing?" I think he's teaching. "No. Hiss not teaching. Hiss eattinga lunch." No, I think he's all done eating his lunch. "Yeah?" Yeah. (Pause.) "I think hiss earning." What? "Hiss earning. Hiss earning a book." Ohhh. "Yes, he probably is learning. He probably is learning from a book."

Iyyar started crawling on Tuesday. This is late--he's 10.5 months old and some kids are walking at this age--but it's exactly what Barak did so I'm not concerned. He's very excited about this crawling business and will spy something he wants, fix it with his steely gaze, and head straight for it, huffing and puffing (hoo! hoo! hoo!) with the effort of it all. The things he wants most of all are a) Barak's Little Tikes car, purchased for five bucks at the rummage sale where we got our couch last summer, and b) the loader-less toy formerly known as the backhoe loader ("Broke it backhoe loader." "How did you break it?" "Gotta share it.") The car is okay as long as I am keeping an eye on him; the loader is not, because I have seen those wheels come off on other similar toys and they are perfectly sized to be a menace to babies who put things in their mouths. Most of those toys have quietly gone into hibernation, but I have not yet made the backhoe loader disappear.

At least ten times a day, Iyyar spots the backhoe loader, drops down onto all fours and heads out on a mission. "Hoo. Hoo. Hoo." Laboriously, hand after knee after hand, he pursues his quarry.

And then Barak sees him.

"No no baby! Iss not for you! You no can't have a backhoe loader!" And he moves it a foot or two away.

Iyyar looks at Barak as if to say, well, that was a dirty trick, but I'm sure there was a good reason for it. I'll just crawl another couple of feet. "Hoo. Hoo. Hoo." He gets there. He gets his slick-with-drool little fist tight around the backhoe. And:

"No no baby! No can't hold it! Iss not for you!" Barak pries fingers off loader, and moves it another two feet away.

I think the loader needs to go to the garage for a little vacation. Don't you?

Oh, and on the title of this post: singing. We, like any self-respecting Orthodox family with small children, own a number of Uncle Moishy albums. None of them, however, have the Uncle Moishy classic number, Hashem is Here (song number 5). It goes like this:

Hashem is here
Hashem is there
Hashem is truly everywhere

Hashem is here
Hashem is there
Hashem is truly everywhere

(pointing with your finger)

Up, up, down, down, right, left and all around
Here, there and everywhere is where he can be found,

Up, up, down, down, right, left and all around
Here, there and everywhere is where he can be found!

Got that? Good. So, when we took Barak to see Uncle Moishy after Iyyar was born, he was very taken by this song he'd never heard before. And now he sings it by himself. It sounds sort of like,

"Hashem seer, hashem sare, hashem everywhere! Up, up, down, right, left, he ca' be found!" Then, "You sing it."

Today, for whatever reason, on the tenth or so iteration of this I started with the finger-pointing part. Barak was outraged. "NO!! First Hashem Seer!" I obligingly started again at the beginning.

"Now sing ma nishtana please."

Three weeks. Less than three weeks...



Yasmin said...

Yes, it does sound like the backhoe needs to go on a little vacation...

Don't worry about the ear tubes. I'm not guarateeing that everything will suddenly be amazingly better, but I think you will be relieved.

LeahChaya said...

Volume 1, side A, the last song. . . might it be easier on your patience to buy the album?

Alternatively, ma nishtana is probably on every Pesach tape or CD known to man.

And best wishes for a smooth operation and speedy recovery.