Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Bad day

"Imma, I had a bad day today."

"Why did you have a bad day?"

"I don't know."

"Did it start out as a bad day or did it get bad later?"

"It got bad later."

"When did it get bad?"

"When I got in trouble."

Yeah, when you got in trouble for pitching a full-on tantrum on the floor.

I am so. Tired.

I chaperoned a class trip today for Barak's kindergarten, which was fun, even though it involved a couple of miles of walking and of course I had Iyyar and Avtalyon with me in the double stroller. That part was fun; Avtalyon slept through the whole thing and Iyyar had a blast. It was the rest of the afternoon that was... challenging. Without getting into all the details, by 6 pm I looked Barak in the eye and told him I was so angry at him that he was going to have to go into a different room, right now, and stay there for a while. I know. Mother of the Year, right here.

It was all okay in the end; Abba finally came home and wrangled them for a while, and then after he left I went in to the kids' room to find Barak still awake. I let him come into Abba's bed and we talked in the dark for a while and sort of talked things through; he was feeling better by the time I left and so was I.

But, yeah. Tired. Not the best day. Tomorrow should be better. As I said to Barak, "You know the best thing about bad days? When you go to bed, they're over! They're just over, and you can make tomorrow be a good day. Right?"


Anonymous said...


Sleep well.
~ Jasmin

SuperM said...

I'm so sorry. I hate bad days, and all the kids (and the parents) have them.

I do think you get the Mother of the Year award though. There are a lot of other ways that parents respond to that kind of day or that kind of situation, and Barak needs to know how upset you were. Sending a child into another room is a very sane response.

uberimma said...

Well, I didn't send him into another room as a timeout or anything like that. I sent him into another room because I wanted to hit him so badly I needed him out of my sight. I don't think I really would have hit him--I never have--but the desire was about as strong as it's ever been. So it was a politely worded "Get out of my sight if you know what's good for you."

Yasmin said...

I agree w/ SuperM, even more after reading your response: that was a very sane action. To recognize that level of anger in yourself and calmly direct your child away from danger is not something many adults seem to be able to do.

There is no Mother of the Year who is not occasionally driven to the ends of her ropes (all mothers have more than one rope) by their child, their day, or some combination thereof. Anger is a normal emotion. It's how you handle it that gets you the coveted MoY award.

OneTiredEma said...

I have those days about once a week. And I don't even have hormones to blame it on.

Bob & Phyllis said...

long-time lurker--
I agree with the other posters. Barak is also more than old enough to begin to learn that Mom can get very angry at his behavior. He also can learn appropriate ways to deal with the anger (just as you modeled).

Boy is now 26 and I still wonder at times how he made to that age without me killing him...

Hang in there!

Deborah said...

Still taking baby names?
There is always Deborah--I really like it and it does not seem to be too popular just now.

I like Hadassah, too. Not Esther.

Rachel, Rebekah--we know lots of these.

Sarai. Not Sarah. Lots of those.

Tamar. But hate the story.

Alisha said...

I also think your reaction to Barak was remarkably appropriate. As for girls' names, Tehilah, Ma'ayan, Leora, Ora, Binah, Noa, Tirtza...

Alisha said...

Atara, Eliana, Shalhevet, Elanit, Shlomit, Na'ama

uberimma said...

Alisha, I love the name Shalhevet, but I can't shake the association with Shalhevet Pass. Noa and Naama are kind of out of the running. Maayan and Tehilla are definitely on the list though. Which is currently about thirty names long...

Alisha said...

I knew a girl in Israel named Shalhavit. I guess if Shalhevet means flame, Shalhavit is a little spark? Don't know if that helps your associations any...