All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned Watching Eighties Movies

Bear this wisdom in mind.

So that when wacky people wishing to engage you in the wackiness from which you have happily escaped try to engage you in more of their wackiness, you'll know what to say.

Say it with me, please.

The only way to win is not to play.

I could be a little less cryptic, and say something along the lines of, "If family who haven't acknowledged you in almost three years suddenly express, via an intermediary, a desire to travel a thousand miles to throw you a baby shower, then be suspicious. Be very suspicious. Do not fall into the trap of thinking how nice this is, because you've been there before, oh, four or five thousand times. Stay away. Stay well away."

The only way to win is not to play.

I could say this, but it wouldn't come close to explaining the situation. And I don't really want to go there, frankly. Because this blog is not the story of Bad Things Left Behind. This blog is the story of Good Things Found. But sometimes, you know, Bad Things try to find you again, and drag you back into their swamp.

The only way to win is not to play.

I know that there are members of my family who are more than wacky. There are members who are, to put it plainly, dangerous, in ways that I wouldn't even know where to begin to explain, even if I wanted to, which frankly, I don't. I know that these are people of whom I simply need to steer clear, at all costs. I know that I need to not even think about what other people may think. I need to listen to the sensible friends, the rebbeim, the very specific psak I was given three years ago. I need to stay away.

Because the only way to win is not to play.