Monday, May 10, 2010

Don't let the spiders bite

Lazy blog posting here: this from an email to Cecilia, with a few edits:

Lately, I have been making up stories to tell the kids at bedtime, since it's hard to read a book, show pictures in three directions, and nurse at the same time, esp. in the dark! The latest was about a bear who wanted to make aliya, but because he was a bear he couldn't get all the paperwork together, so they wouldn't let him. As you know they want a lot of stuff bears don't have, like apostilled birth certificates etc. The bear, however, was a hardcore Zionist, so, undeterred, he decided to stow away on the NBN flight. But being that he was a bear and couldn't read, he had some trouble once he'd sneaked out onto the tarmac. Result: he accidentally got on Qantas instead of El Al and wound up in Sydney. Where there are, as is common knowledge, 9-foot spiders. (Me: "And what's in Australia?" Barak, wide-eyed: "Jabungous spiders!") He was hungry at this point--long trip in cargo hold and all--and decided to try tasting one. He liked them, but you know, not much meat on even a 9-foot spider, so he started eating lots and lots of them. Next thing you know, he's eaten all the spiders in Australia, is hailed as a national hero, and is fixed up by the prime minister with a deluxe cave and a lifetime supply
of honey. The End.


Alisha said...

But he never got to Israel! The hardcore Zionist was bought off by a deluxe cave and a lifetime supply of honey? Now really...what message does that send to your kids?!

(Hee! Hee!)

Cyndy said...

I'm guessing there will be a sequel!

uberimma said...

Alisha--the point is that it is SILLY FOR A BEAR TO MAKE ALIYA. The whole time the kids were rolling around giggling. "A bear can't do that! He doesn't have a passport! He can't learn Hebrew! He isn't Jewish! Hee hee hee! Silly bear!"

Yasmin said...

I've seen the Australian spiders. (In Tasmania, but still.) They are, actually, very very close to 9 feet in size. And surprisingly flat, which unfortunately means they can skitter through very small openings.

Deborah said...

Great story. That bear would be my national hero,too, if he ate all the ginormous spiders in Australia.