Okay, I knew this would be frustrating. I knew this wouldn't be easy. I knew I was asking for it trying to toilet-train an opinionated two-year-old with a new baby in the house. But I also knew that there wouldn't be a better time anytime soon. He's starting playgroup, and playgroup requires that they wear a diaper or a pull-up until they're totally reliable; in my mind, starting to toilet train him and then putting a diaper back on him is just telling him it's okay to pee where he's standing. Mixed messages that we don't want.
So. This is where we are. We know that Barak has bowel control par excellence. He can go to bed with a full bladder and wake up dry. But he'll pee on the floor before he gets to the toilet. He'll hold it for hours, or all day; and then ask for multiple potty trips after going to bed, only to say "no potty! down!" and go right back to bed--and poop in his underwear and pee on the floor.
Anyone else think this is a control thing? Yeah, me too.
Rewards work, somewhat. But not enough. I'm not going to punish him for peeing on the floor--he's too young and I don't think it's appropriate. I do tell him, seriously, multiple times a day, that we do not pish on the floor or in our beds or in our underwear, and that the only place we do this is where? yes, Barak, on the potty. He knows. He knows full well. But he also has a mind of his own.
He has to want to do it. He doesn't. How do I make it attractive? I happen to have a tricycle in a box, purchased for $20 on sale, that I am fully prepared to use as bribery, but I don't think there is a good way to do that. He gets chocolate chips for successful trips, and he likes those, and I don't think upping the ante is a smart move. He gets tons of praise too.
I'm thinking I might get a potty seat instead of a small seat that goes on top of the toilet, so he can do it all himself without help. He'd probably go for that. Ada thinks I should put clothes back on him so that going in his underwear makes him uncomfortable--when he's naked, she says, there are no consequences. True enough.
It's 8:45 and he just fell asleep after two and a half hours.
I think I should go to bed.
1 comment:
This is tough and I feel for you. I took a different approach. I let the kids tell me when they were ready and never once had an accident with either one. (My first one however was afraid to poop on the potty and for several months, and despite many bribes, would ask for a diaper to poop. He mastered his fear eventually. I think it was a plastic lion that did the trick.) But they were closer to 3 when they decided. I agree that you can't back down now. Actions have consequences. This is lesson that takes a very long time to teach, and you will be teaching it again and again and again as they grow. That is the real lesson here. You are doing a great job. Stick with it, be consistent, and Barak will figure it out. Good luck. I'll be reading.
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