We interrupt this series of posts to bring you

a totally unrelated post.

I can't sleep. This NEVER happens to me. I have always been able to fall asleep more or less the minute my head hits the pillow, probably because I am so perpetually underrested. Since I got back from America, the jetlag has been killing me. Not only that, but I seem to have developed, overnight, an inability to metabolize caffeine. I have been, to put it bluntly, something of a Diet Coke junkie for the last, oh, twenty years or so. It has never been even a tiny bit of an issue for my sleep; I have never thought twice about drinking full-octane Diet Coke right before bed. Apparently, I can't do this anymore, as of last week sometime. Two days ago I drank Diet Coke while working and couldn't sleep until 5 am; the next day I didn't have any and fell asleep by 1, which is the earliest I've been able to sleep since I got back.

My schedule is bad enough sleep-wise. If I can't take advantage of every opportunity I have to sleep, it's a disaster. I've kind of been a wreck the last couple of weeks.

Right now it is 3 am. I am pretty sure the reason I can't sleep is that I went out (yes! I went out! with my husband! and no children!) for pizza (that wasn't the plan but it's what ended up happening) earlier this evening and had a Diet Coke with my pizza because come on, what's pizza without Diet Coke? I think this was a terrible mistake. I really really can't sleep.

Oh, have I told you about Hadassah the Amazing? We love Hadassah the Amazing. She is the chesed girl that Onetiredema's... friend? cousin? someone? set us up with. Every Tuesday at 2:30 she turns up as if by magic and for two hours entertains children, holds babies, and--wait for it--sometimes even washes the dishes. For free. This is part of her seminary program--the doing of chesed. For some inexplicable reason, despite the pervading craziness of our household, she appears to like us, and offered to babysit for us this evening so we could go out for dinner (the original plan. the pizza happened when the restaurant we went all the way around Jerusalem to get to had downgraded from its previously mehadrin hashgacha. alas). Not only did she do this FOR FREE, but when I came home she had washed ALL the gross crusty dishes in the sink AND put away all the toys.

Amazing. Lovely. Really. Tuesdays are totally the best day of the week because of her.

Let's see, what else...

Oh, Barak earned his airplane. For the last seven months or however long it's been, both he and Iyyar have had jars of coins. For every night of civilized bedtime (read: I do not have to go into their rooms after 8 pm and they do not come out) they get a coin, valued at 1 shekel or 25 cents (yes we still play fantasy exchange rate around here) in their jar. Said coins are exchangeable for Playmobil or, upon discussion, other things. Barak decided back in September sometime that he wanted the white airplane. This would be the $52 giant Playmobil jet. I said, that is an insanely expensive toy and I am not buying it for you but you may feel free to earn it. And he has been. Every day he makes sure I dropped in a shekel, he's been counting them regularly, and before my trip he had about 165 in there. I told him that if I heard only exemplary reports during my absence, I would front him the other 50 and bring him the plane, but it was going to live in his room so Avtalyon couldn't dismember it like he does all the other Playmobil. Barak was naturally only too happy with this, and I brought him back the plane. Now Barak has set his sights on the airport AND the cargo area. I'm not even sure they make the airport anymore, but I'm very happy he's a) so good at delaying gratification and b) working toward some nonviolent toys for a change.

I am really looking forward to Shabbos. I decided to give myself an "off" Shabbos. No guests (sorry Alisha, you don't count as a guest) and I am not going to stress about what the house looks like. Not only that, but I got a Groupon coupon for catered Shabbos food and used it, so Abba is going to Talpiot to pick up some Naomi Catering food--really really expensive stuff but we paid NIS 80 for NIS 200 of food so it's OK. I have chicken soup left from last week so all I have to do is make matzo balls, buy challah and chummous and dessert, and I'm set. I may also make sushi, just because I love sushi and because Alisha is coming, but I may not. I'll see. I have no plans to get out of pajamas the entire day.

Do I try to go to sleep again? I am really really wide awake here. Hmm. Maybe I'll take some knitting into bed with me and see how that goes. Stay tuned, as always, to this ever-exciting channel.