Wednesday, July 08, 2009


I have a few minutes of work time yet--not enough to really get going on something new. I'm waiting for someone to return a phone call, anyway, and don't know what to do next until he does. So... a few updates.

1. When Barak was three and a half and Iyyar one and a half, Grandma E came to visit. During the course of her visit, Barak devolved from a reasonably pleasant and civilized small child to a three-foot-tall monster toddler. He threw a tantrum in Target, spent more time out than in, whined, nagged, ignored me and... yeah. It was lovely. I thought, okay, he's trying to get attention--he'll get back to normal after the visit. Nope. He didn't really get back to normal until, oh, a few months after Avtalyon was born. When he turned four.

Iyyar is not yet three and a half. He's not even quite three and a quarter. But he seems to be entering That Stage. The I Don't Want To Do Anything You Tell Me stage. The I Don't Have To Listen To You Stage. The Let's See What Imma Does If I... stage.

Did I mention we're going to visit Grandma E in about three weeks?

It's really good that I have the blog, because when I look at how Iyyar is behaving (and let loose a primal scream that makes the neighbors wonder if they should call 911) and how Barak is behaving (generally speaking, nicely) I wonder what I am in for. Then I look back at the blog two years ago and remember how difficult (read: awful) Barak was at more or less the same age.

It's not him. It's the stage. I just need to keep telling myself that for the next six months...

2. Speaking of Iyyar, I truly do not see how I am going to toilet train him. He has the general idea. He often tells me he needs to poop on the potty and even runs to the bathroom. But pooping hurts him. A lot. And so he cries and wiggles off and, an hour or more later, poops in his diaper. What to do? Once I tried, physically, to get him to stay on when it was so obvious he was going to go any second. But he held it in, and that set off a few days of constipation that ended in a suppository and a lot of screaming. Lesson learned--I won't do that again. But if he's not in underwear in SEVEN WEEKS, he's not going to school next year. His slot will go to someone on the waiting list. I can't have two kids at home all day, every day, all winter, especially not when I am due in November. I don't know what to do--I don't really have a Plan B here.

3. Avtalyon, for all his snuggliness, is not, at the moment, a super-snuggly baby. If I want snuggles, I have to carry him around; if I try to sit down and get some quality cuddle time, he'll usually slide off and go play. Last night, for the first time in months, he wouldn't settle down. He'd been constipated for days (can I write about ANYTHING but poop?!) and then had a day of raging diarrhea caused by the blueberries and cherries I'd given him to help move things along. He was crying in his crib with yet another dirty diaper, which I changed; he was happy to go back into his crib, but cried and cried as soon as I left. So I came back in, picked him up, and sat down in the rocking chair, fully expecting him to take this as an opportunity for further playtime. Nope. He actually flung his arms around me, gave a happy sigh, burrowed into my armpit, and fell asleep. Bliss.

4. Four has to not be about poop! That means... um... well, work is safe! Four can be about work!

Work is crazy. Work is super crazy. People at work are crazy. People outside work are crazy. It's all just... all kinds of crazy. I'm trying to think of something else I can say that isn't identifying but I can't, so let's just leave it there. With CRAZY.

5. I am so into knitting right now it is hard to describe--probably because I have so little knitting time. My ravelry queue is stretched out to THERE and unless I quit my job and hire a full-time babysitter, there is no way on earth I'll finish it before I'm due, or even in this lifetime. And, predictably, what does uberimma do when she has no time to knit? She scratches the knitting itch by buying knitting things, of course. I just got two new knitting books AND put in a small Schoolhouse Press order (a little bit of Plotulopi/Icelandic Unspun to round out what Jasmin brought, so I can make a sweater with it). Pattern for said sweater is in one of the new books. In the meantime, I have on the needles:

-an Eris for me, out of green Ultra Alpaca
-a newborn baby sweater, in green and yellow sock yarn
-a pink hat for Shanna's daughter
-a green hat for Shanna's son
-mittens for Barak (mittens themselves are done, just need the second liner)

I also have, in the Want To Knit Right Now category, yarn and pattern for a Lett-Lopi vest, which I plan on making A-line for a postpartum belly-camouflaging fall garment. With all three of my kids, I woke up the morning of the bris realizing I had absolutely nothing I could possibly wear and look civilized in. This is an attempt to avert that crisis situation. Think I'll get a girl this time?

6. MHH finishes work this Friday and is up for a five-week break. One of those weeks will be spent visiting Grandma E and Deb, and there are many local daytrips planned (there is so much to do locally that we never do, simply because I can't wrangle everyone on multiple buses alone).
One of the planned highlights, however, is a trip to a fiber festival with my friend Sarah. Yes! With Sarah! Without children! I will pack my bags, get on a train, go several states away, and knit and knit and knit.

If I remember to pack my passport, that is.


shanna said...

:-D on the hats for my kids.

Sorry about the CRAZY. And the non-toilet-training-ness. Can you bribe him with cool underwear?

handknitter said...

I second the cool underwear bribe. Or, offer a forbidden treat for pooping in the potty. We used Reese's peanut butter cups.

And . . . PASSPORT!!!!!!!!!!!

uberimma said...

Super Grover underwear! Cookie Monster underwear! Tofutti Cuties! What else can I do?

miriamp said...

Take him off gluten?

sigh. The trauma thing is totally not in your favor here. So how do you convince him that pooping doesn't hurt? Because that's what it's going to take.

So what's my excuse for my 3.5 (umm, 3.75) yr old not being toilet trained yet? Oh, yeah, I'm not trying hard enough. (Wake up, Miriam, it's summer. Carpool and school schedule is not an issue. Take away the diapers and get NL using that potty!)

(side note -- does Shanna actually let her daughter wear pink!?!?!?!?!)

persephone said...

Poor Iyyar. I'm lucky I didn't have IBS as a kid, or I'm sure I would have been afraid to poop in the potty too. I hope the fiber will help him a lot.

Actually, did I mention? The form of fiber that helps me the most is prune juice. As long as I drink some every day, I'm ok; if I skip even one day, I'm in a lot of pain. It tastes awful by itself, but chilled and mixed with low-acid OJ (I can't tolerate regular OJ), it's fine. My kids actually beg to drink mine.

Do you think you can bear to let him run around naked for a few days? If you just focus on peeing, and there's no pressure about pooping, maybe he'll be more open to the rewards you're offering.

And if he has a poop accident on the floor... while it will be icky for you, it might teach him that it's not so bad to poop somewhere besides your diaper. If it doesn't completely gross you out, try to have him watch you put the poop in the toilet, so he can see where it's supposed to go.

We're racing the school clock here, as well. What I've been told is that as long as they will pee in the toilet at school, but hold their poop till they get home, that's good enough. Even if they still ask for a diaper to poop at home.

LC said...

Re: #5 - um, I do know 2 people with 3 girls followed by a boy. Does that count?

And if Shanna explicitly refused to let her daughter wear pink, that would be discriminatory against pink.

A question about which kid would actually be offered which hat might be safer. Data point: flowered baby outfit.

Deborah said...

The girl here had issues pooping at that age. A spoonful of whole flax seed a day with breakfast cereal. And a prune, too, for a while.

Deborah said...

Ooh, I looked at that book in Borders this past week and wondered if it needed to come home with me.

OneTiredEma said...

My son is 3 years and 3 months old. I think I scared the crap out of some friends this Shabbat when I told them (at their house; so much for being a good guest!), "The only thing that gives me confidence that I can survive 3 is that I did it once already." Their first child is 3 years and 2 months old. Oops.

We have 3-going on 3.5 + making aliyah. Every day is a fight or 12. But hey, I don't have two of him.