In which I am delighted to assume the role of mother who worried herself sick for no reason

Iyyar does not have Duchenne muscular dystrophy.

See, I can say [horrible disease] now because he DOESN'T HAVE IT.

Although, from reading this list and looking at him, you might understand why both the doctor and I were worried. More than half the list is applicable to him to some degree. But there is a blood test that, while not diagnostic if positive, rules it out if negative, and it was totally, definitively negative.

Thank God.

The doctor thinks he's just a little weak and uncoordinated, which is what I thought before I noticed the stairs. He doesn't have a good explanation for why stairs have suddenly become a problem, and just said to keep an eye on it; my regular pediatrician put in a referral for physical therapy. I don't see any other new changes, and am not worrying about anything (else) dire. I'm assuming it's just a growth spurt.

Thank God.

* * *

We now return to our regularly scheduled kid updates. Want a few? Oh, I knew you did:

1. Iyyar (Iyyar! Who is fine!) has had nary a whisper of tummy trouble since the triple whammy of pinworms, dairy sensitivity and tonsils were all dealt with. He is, however, now having multiple bowel movements a day--usually two or three. Tonight, I'd changed his diaper and gotten him into pajamas and I heard a suspicious noise. Iyyar knew I'd heard it, and gave me a somewhat defensive look.

"Iyyar, did you poop?"

"No! Not poopy!"

"Can I check!"

"No! No want you to grab it!"

"What?"

"I don't want you to grab my pants!"

2. We are, B"H about a billion times over, going away for Pesach, to visit my husband's sister and her family (Hi Sara! Iyyar's fine, Sara!). We are all tremendously excited about this and, secondarily, I am personally thrilled not to have to be making Pesach. I always feel that I owe sort of a karmic debt to the universe when I don't have to make Pesach, which I attempt to repay by facilitating the Pesach-making of others. So tonight, we had over most of Yehudis's kids so that she could turn over her kitchen. Dizzy with relief this afternoon, I decided to make cupcakes AND franks in blanks in addition to the spaghetti and meatballs I had planned; when Yehudis's kids walked in the door, they were mightily pleased.

YK: What smells really good? Did you make pretzels?

Me: No, I made cupcakes.

YK: You made CUPCAKES? For Shabbos?

Me: Some of them are for Shabbos, but I made enough that everybody can have one right now.

YK (reverently): Wow. And we also get meatballs and spaghetti?

Me: Yup. And also franks and blanks.

YK (quietly): Wow. You use your oven a lot. You use your oven a lot to make all of your really great food.

I will point out here that I do not make franks and blanks OR cupcakes with any regularity. I just made cupcakes for the second time in about a decade; the franks and blanks are Yehudis's favorite so I usually make them when she's involved. I would never consider such a menu for just my own kids, certainly not on a weeknight. But I don't think I have ever heard such total mealtime silence from so many kids as when everyone was shoveling in dinner tonight.

3. Speaking of food, one of my more reliable vegetable delivery vehicles is carrot pancakes. I make the Joy of Cooking basic pancake recipe, with no sugar, whole wheat flour, and three large carrots, peeled and grated fine, added at the end. Everyone loves these and I let Barak and Iyyar eat theirs with maple syrup, or, as they both call it, "maple syriup." Avtalyon ate four and a half of them, and they are not small. After dinner, Barak had an announcement.

"Imma! Imma, you know what Imma? You know what I think? I think you should make just carrot pancakes. I think you should make them for dinner every night. That way, I'm not ever going to kvetch. I'll just eat them all up. Okay, Imma? JUST carrot pancakes. EVERY night. Okay?"

I didn't agree to that, but I appreciated the compliment.

4. Avtalyon has recently figured out how to climb onto Barak and Iyyar's toddler beds. He had about one day of doing this with some difficulty and now can do it in a heartbeat with no trouble at all. The only trouble involved is that once he's up there, he's so delighted with himself that he stands up. And jumps. That part is a problem.

5. A friend of ours gave us some pirate hats lately, left over from Purim. She gave us three. I had in mind that the big boys would have two and the third would be in reserve for the inevitable Hat Tragedy. But no. Avtalyon wants his hat as well. He can't quite get it on himself, and when you put it on for him it is so huge it sags all the way to his shoulders on both sides. But he is about the cutest little potbellied pirate you ever did see.

I am so, so, so relieved I can't even begin to express it. I am so grateful to be able to just write updates on my kids. My kids, who are here, and safe, and healthy, and fine.

Thank God.